New Cereal Idea…Mascot is Maybe Some Sort of Bug Man?

I’m an idea man. I never know when lightning is going to strike but when it does, hold onto your dicks and your tits because it’s going to be a good idea most likely.

Everyone remembers my idea for a new pasta that’s spherical (about the size of a big softball) called “Norbitini.” And I’m sure most of you are aware of my dating app where you get matched with people based on head shape (HeadOverHeels). Well, here comes another idea from Mr. Idea himself and it’s not a dating app OR a food…I’m talking about a new kind of cereal. I don’t have a name yet but i’m pretty sure the mascot is gonna be a bug man kinda thing.

Perhaps the coolest thing about this cereal will be that you won’t have to add milk because it will already be wet. No more trips to the milk truck – this stuff is dripping right out the box. It will probably be water-based so lactose intolerant people can still eat it.

There’s gotta be a prize at the bottom and why not make that prize a funny wig. Everybody loves a funny wig. At the bottom of every box there will be a loose wig. No need for more packaging, just a big ball of hair at the bottom of the wet cereal. Collect them all!

The cereal itself can be literally anything. I’m leaning towards log-shaped. I’m open to anything but it’s looking like it’s gonna be logs. Cereal can either be rice, corn, or wheat based so I’m thinking corn. Corn Logs? I don’t see a problem with that name. Feed your children Corn Logs.

Like I said, I think I want this mascot to be a bug man. Just a big fat guy with bug features. He flies, spits goo on stuff, and he has a short lifespan. Maybe in the commercial, kids are at the breakfast table eating boring cereal while their parents are yelling bible verses at them, and then the bug man crashes through the window and spits his goo on the parents and yells his catchphrase “Suck my diarrhea, you fucks!” His name could be Chevy.